I will never hurt you
by Golden Seeker 91
Summary: 6th year Wolfstar in which Remus is suffering with really bad dreams. Sorry its reallly long, I tried to cut it down a little but didnt seem right. Review/recomend if you like, hope it is enjoyable for you.


Wolfstar 6

Remus was on prefect duty. He was shattered and needed rest, his most recent transformation had been rough on him, he had missed a lot of homework and he knew he should be using this time to catch up but he just couldn't focus. All he really wanted to do was hide in his bed for a week or two away from everyone and everything. He stumbled along the 7th floor not expecting to see anyone, prefect duty was pretty much a couple of hours one could spend wondering around with your own thoughts, but that, thought Remus, was exactly what he didn't need.

He settled himself at the end of the corridor he was meant to be patrolling so he could see everything he needed to and rested his head against the wall. It was cool and helped to relieve a bit of his headache that had manifested earlier on that day during potions causing him to fail his potions assignment for the second time. The teachers knew about him being a werewolf and thought this recent dip in his performance was the result of this. That just scratched the surface of what was truly on his mind. They looked at him sympathetically, telling him to get some air and return and finish the assessments when he was ready. They didn't seem to realise it had never affected his school work before.

He felt his eyes begin to droop, he fought to stay awake, he couldn't fall asleep on prefect duty, but his body had other ideas, it needed rest, and ignoring the signals from Remus' brain, drifted into unconsciousness.

He could have dealt with sleep if it was just sleep, he longed for a night where he could sleep without dreaming, wake without being more exhausted than he was before, but tonight, as always it seemed, wasn't going to be one of those nights.

In this dream he was in the shrieking shack. His whole body on fire as bones stretched, nails grew into claws and teeth sharpened to fangs. A powerful and feral rage coupled with a stomach aching hunger gripped him and a howl broke free from his throat shattering the still evening. He turned to head out of the door when he found his way blocked by a big, scruffy black dog. The human part of him knew it was Sirius, his best friend, the werewolf saw food. It bared his fangs growling low in its throat, making the dogs shaggy fur stand up on end. It answered with a growl of its own. The wolf locked eyes with the dog, the dog's eyes were calm, but tense and watchful. The wolf's eyes looked directly into the dog's. The human side of him trying to convey a single message.

"RUN!"

The dog didn't move an inch, just stared back into the eyes of the wolf. He tried to shout at the dog to run, but all that came out of his throat was a guttural scream, and still the dog did not move. Remus felt muscles tense in his back, in his legs and knew what the wolf was going to do. Once more he tried to warn the dog, tried to plead with him to run, but all the sound the wolf could make was a whine. The dog pricked up his ears and cocked its head to the side but still did not move. Remus watched through the wolfs eyes in horror as he sprang at the dog, jaws closing around its neck, feeling the pulse slowing till there was nothing there. The wolf howled again, this time in anger and anguish, pawing at the still form of the dog. When it didn't move he turned his maw to the side, biting hard at his own arm and waking sharply, smacking his head against the cold hard stone wall of the 7th floor corridor.

As he came to his senses he noticed a gentle touch on his arm. He turned to see the bright red hair and sparkling green eyes of Lily Evans looking at him concernedly. Remus exhaled resting his head against the stone. He knew Lily could understand, without even any communication on Remus' part. She pulled him into a hug, he could feel himself shaking.

"Another dream?" She asked softly.

He nodded mutely. Then groaned as his headache returned full force. He pressed his fingers to his temples willing it to go away. Lily pulled her wand from her robes and directed a cold stream of air to his forehead before climbing to her feet, dusting her knees off, offering him a hand to stand. He climbed slowly to his feet and would have fallen back down if Lily hadn't been holding on to him.

She helped him down the corridor to the common room and into the chair by the dying fire.

"You get some sleep; I'll take the rest of the prefect duty tonight. Your worrying me."

Remus shook his head trying to get back to his feet, Lily rested a hand on his arm. "Just sleep."

He rubbed his face, his hands shaking.

"I don't want to. I can't keep dreaming like this, I can't keep watching myself hurt him. He's my best friend."

"You won't hurt him. You've practically been joined at the hip since the first day here, you have never, not once even remotely hurt him, intentionally or no."

Remus shut his eyes leaning back against the chair, the circles under his eyes and pale scars on his face shining in the dim light of the fire.

"I'll be back in a sec." said Lily climbing to her feet and dashing up the stairs.

In 5 seconds she dashed back down again holding a small vial containing a cloudy yellow liquid. Remus recognised it, the dreamless sleep potion he had failed to make correctly earlier on today.

"Just promise you won't take points from me for having this potion. I was saving this for someone else but you need it more."

She pressed it gently into his hand. Remus looked at her.

"Thanks." He croaked.

"Drink it then. I want to make sure you're okay before I go to bed."

He smiled at her, downing the potion in one. Lily smiled back, ducking her head under his arm and helping him up the stairs. She turned to him at the doorway to the boy's dormitory, holding his face gently with one hand, making sure he looked at her.

"You will never hurt Sirius; I know you would never do anything that would hurt him. These are all just bad dreams, and they will fade eventually. Sirius knows you would never hurt him, I know you will never hurt him, so does James and Peter. You just need to believe it yourself and these dreams will stop."

"I'll remember that." He said, leaning against the door frame, his head was spinning now. "And thanks, for so many things."

Lily opened the door to the dormitory, pushing him gently inside.

"Your welcome, you are always welcome. Sleep well Remus."

Remus turned and stumbled toward his bed crashing face first into the pillow. He didn't even have time to remove his shoes before he fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

He didn't hear the owl bushing his wings softly against the window with a letter for Sirius, he didn't hear anyone get up and go to breakfast, he didn't flinch when Sirius took his shoes off placing then neatly underneath his bed, before taking his blanket from his bed and putting it over him before their first lesson. He didn't wake when Sirius came to check on him during break after smuggling some buttered toast for him from the kitchens, nor at lunch when he heated the toast up again and left a stack of notes on his side table. He still didn't stir when Sirius came up after dinner with a steaming plate of his favourite, cottage pie and a large slice of treacle tart and another stack of notes for him.

He only awoke when moonlight drifted into the dormitory from a gap in the curtains, falling onto his face. He scanned the room with his eyes drawing the blanket around him, confused, where was everyone? He looked at his watch, 20:30 shone back at him. He stared at it, uncomprehending, sleep still clinging like cobwebs to his brain. Suddenly someone came in, nearly tripping over James' trunk, muttering a curse as he pointed his wand at the candle.

"Lumos." He whispered, shuffling around the room lighting them all in turn filling the room with a dim yellow light.

Remus looked over. It was Sirius, he flopped onto his bed rubbing his foot, then pulling his shirt off over his head reached for this blanket. Remus sat up, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"Need this?" he asked, holding out the blanket for Sirius to take, yawning.

Sirius looked over and his face broke into a relieved grin.

"Merlin's beard Remus, thank goodness your awake. I was getting worried."

Remus yawned again getting to his feet and placing the blanket on Sirius' bed.

"How long was I out for?"

"About 18 hours! Got an owl from Lily this morning telling us not to wake you up.

"18 hours! I missed a whole day!"

"I took notes for you, all on your side table, also, you should eat, I saved you some dinner." Sirius said indicating the now cold plate of food.

Remus, realising he was starving flopped onto his bed, grabbing the food and starting to eat, Sirius stopped him. Taking the plate from his friend and warming it before handing it back.

"You don't need a stomach bug on top of everything else."

Remus smiled weakly at his friend, staring at him for a few moments before continuing with his food. Sirius sat with him, filling him in about what had happened that day. He was so alive, so warm and healthy, but still Remus couldn't help thinking of his dream the night before. Sirius, lifeless and cold, because of him. He dropped his fork onto his plate swivelling to face his friend. He grabbed his wrists, feeling the pulse race beneath his fingertips.

"You know I won't ever hurt you don't you. No matter what I am, no matter what happens you know I will never hurt you."

Sirius looked at his friend. His eyes were desperate and intense. His heart sped up, his pulse throbbing under Remus' fingers. He took his friends hands, scarred and warn, gently in his own, looking directly into his eyes.

"Nothing you could ever possibly do could hurt me, unless you did anything to hurt yourself, that, I could not bear."

Remus slumped forward letting go of Sirius. He nodded, suddenly exhausted.

"Okay." He sighed, "Okay."

They sat for a while in silence then Sirius got up, standing in front of Remus. On a sudden impulse he bent forward kissing him lightly on the top of his head, just as Remus' mother, upon finding out what had happened to him, had done. A gesture, Sirius had come to realise, that was reserved for who she recognised as family.

"Goodnight Mooney." He said, flopping onto his own bed. "You snore like a wild animal by the way."

Remus managed a week laugh into his pillow. Sirius smiled, it was good to hear.

"Goodnight Snuffles." Remus said yawning again. "Oh, by the way, your blanket smells of wet dog."

Sirius snorted into his pillow and Remus fell immediately into another night of dreamless sleep.


End file.
